A young family with a 5 year old girl moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The 5 year old naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough", more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with an envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank the teller asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."
"Oh my goodness," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week too?" The little girl replied, "I will if those fu...ers at Lowe's ever deliver the goddamn sheet rock!".
What people say:
"The way I heard it:
She goes home and her mom asks her what she learned today. "Well, I learned to hang a door." "How do you do that honey?" "Well, you slap the sunnovabitch up there, but the fucker don't fit, so you gatta trim a cunt-hair off here and there until the bastard can shut." "SUZY! You know know not to swear like that! Go to the yard and get a switch!" "Fuck that, mom! That's the goddamn electrician's job!"
"Reminds me of this one...
A salesman knocks on the door of a house and a boy, about six years old, answers. He has a Playboy magazine in one hand, a half-empty bottle of scotch in the other and is smoking a big cigar.
"Hello, little boy," says the salesman. "Are your parents home?"
The kid just looks at him, takes a big puff off of the cigar, slowly exhales and finally replies, "What the fuck do you think?"
"I, too, work construction, and the fuckers everywhere are always late. I don't even know how it's possible that absolutely NOTHING is done on time. I just clean up and it's been 3 weeks that I've been asking for more trash bags. THREE WEEKS. Yesterday I asked what to do since I had done everything I could find and they that told me some piles of trash needed taking out, to which I replied "and how do you suggest doing that?" My boss remembered he never got trash bags and said "omm...right, well, did you, hmm, I don't know".
"I work in building supply (not Lowes), and we're not late, you assholes ordered it before you needed it anyway. Fucking insulators probably aren't even done are they?"
"After that the teller told her she couldn't open a savings account unless she deposited 300 dollars."
"My brother worked a site where they locked all the job tools in a small trailer and lifted it 50 ft in the air with the crane on site. Looters came overnight and pushed the crane over to steal the tools from the trailer.
Broke a $750,000 crane for $30,000 in tools. Awesome."
"This reminds me of when i was around 6 years old. I was watching a house get built next to mine. I made friends with the builders (not creepy, i swear). After that, i said i wanted to build houses during the day and drive an 18 wheeler at night (i had seen commercials for Giant, delivering turkeys). Neither of my dreams were realized..."
Just a true-life story.