There are a lot of articles and lessons on the web that promise to help you get anything you want by using different tricks. Easiest of this tricks are manipulative, they help to achieve what you want in a short term, but they are also easy to recognize. More difficul tricks are motivational tricks, which are more ethical to use. By using first kind in a conversation you use person's weak spots in order to make them do what you need, while using second way you use communicational skills. We are going to tell you about the difference between them and when it is ok to use them.
Manipulation is thinking of a reason others will want to do something, and then convincing them of your correctness. Motivation is genuinely seeking out the wants, needs, and desires of the other party, and then working with the other party to find solutions that meet your needs - and theirs.
The best thing about manipulation is that it works fast. But if you want your manipulation to be effective you should know your employees and ways they are gonna react really really well.
Making You Feel Guilty
Such "guilt trip" can take many forms, but the bottom line is the person makes you feel bad about something you’ve done or are going to do (or haven’t done, or are not going to do) and because of the resulting guilt or shame, you say or do what the manipulator wants. Often times they will frame the guilt trip as a question so it is less obvious. A master manipulator will identify the things you are most likely to feel guilty about/ashamed of and focus on those.
For example, a co-worker could remind you about that time they bailed you out big time in the past, then use that as leverage every time he/she needs something.
READ ALSO: How To Earn People's Trust
The Pity Party
The pity party is similar to the guilt in the sense that the manipulator is trying to make you feel bad, except instead of feeling bad about yourself, you feel sorry for them. A manipulator knows that if they can get you to feel sorry for them, then they can manipulate you into switching your focus and start feeling sorry for them.
Flattery is a well-known manipulation technique in which the person gives a disingenuous compliment in order to “butter you up” and encourage you to do what they want. We are self-centered beings that crave approval, which is why flattery works even when it’s obvious. While basking in the glow of compliments, some people can be convinced to do almost anything. A master manipulator will hone in on a person’s insecurities and tailor their flattery to provide the person the reassurance they need. Of course, once the manipulator gets what they want, the flattery often ends.